Feminism

My Friend Has a Stalker, and You Need to Know His Name

February 25, 2019 ☆ Rebecca Brightly

Last month, my friend Bryan sent me this message: “Do you know Messy? Check out her story.”

I went to Messy’s Instagram and saw this:

Screenshot of Instagram story posted by Messy Lin. Shows an image of Matthew Stephenson's face.

“Do not host this guy if he asked,” reads the original message, along with some Chinese at the bottom. “Parkour people plz beware of him. He stole expensive camera, and use other guys [credit card] and so on,” writes Messy in her repost.

I felt my adrenaline spike. I didn’t know the whole story–I don’t read Chinese and didn’t know any parkour people from Taiwan at the time. But I knew this guy. [Read more…] about My Friend Has a Stalker, and You Need to Know His Name

Men, Here’s Why Women Don’t Appreciate Your Advice

March 16, 2018 ☆ Rebecca Brightly

“Everyone do two cartwheels. Try to stay on the line in the turf,” said the coach in my freerunning class. Freerunning involves a lot of going upside down while your feet leave the ground. We practice on soft surfaces in the gym before trying flips outdoors on the concrete.

Third in the queue, I did my two cartwheels, one on my right side and one on my left.

“You’re tilted off center for some reason.”

“Hm?” I glanced at the man who had spoken. He had finished his cartwheels just before me. I didn’t recognize him.

“Oh, I just noticed you were tilted off center for some reason,” he repeated with a kind of half-chuckle, as though it was a funny thing, or he was embarrassed to tell me.

Blank look. “Yeah, I’m not surprised. The second one was my off side.”

It took me a moment to figure out what he was trying to do because I’d literally never seen this man before. He was giving me feedback.

25 Ways to Be Less Sexist In Your Dancing

November 26, 2013 ☆ Rebecca Brightly

Get ready for my most fun blog post ever!

Here’s the deal: No one wants to be sexist. Well, maybe some people do, but we don’t respect those people. And we sure don’t love having those people in our dance community.

So yeah, we don’t want to cling to false gender stereotypes to justify discrimination. No one really wants to use their gender’s status to dominate others. We don’t mean to be sexist!

But intent does not equate to impact.

Or as they say, “Actions speak louder than words, thoughts, and intentions.” I added that last part, but it’s pretty true, eh? As much as I want to change minds, actions are still the most important thing.

Anyhow, this is fabulous news! Why? Because:

It’s much easier to change your behavior than control your thoughts.

Today’s post gives 25 possible answers to the question, “How the hell do we act less sexist?” [Read more…] about 25 Ways to Be Less Sexist In Your Dancing

Why Men Don’t Understand Sexism In Partner Dancing

September 4, 2013 ☆ Rebecca Brightly

Some of the men responding to my articles mentioning sexism perplex me.

These men outright deny that sexism exists, or that it’s a problem. I admit I have trouble understanding why anyone would take that stance.

I talked with my partner. He’s good at explaining what it’s like to be a man in partner dancing. He’s also a person of color, so he has insight into that experience as well.

Together, we discovered some sticking points that make it harder for men to unravel the puzzle of sexism.

I failed to see these as sticking points because I experience life as a woman. To me, these are so foundational they don’t need to be said. That makes it more difficult for me to explain the sexism I experience in the dance community.

First, let’s define sexism as it relates to partner dancing. [Read more…] about Why Men Don’t Understand Sexism In Partner Dancing

Solving Sexism In the Lindy Hop Community

July 17, 2013 ☆ Rebecca Brightly

Note: This post is a detour from my planned 3-post series I began in my previous post.

Tired of sexism in the lindy hop community? Me too! Let’s do something about it.

Lately there’s been a lot of talk about sexism on lindy hop blogs and Facebook. This is very encouraging. Change is a-brewin’, isn’t it? And women must continue working at the forefront to make it happen.

In my last article, almost as a footnote I explained that sexism is the source of our erroneous understanding of connection. Today I want to go much, much further than that.

I’m assuming we all understand what’s wrong with sexism. This whole post is devoted to discussing solutions for the lindy hop community. Let’s move the discourse forward! I’ll be happy to read your ideas in the comments.

I’ve seen three main suggestions on how to address sexism in the lindy hop community: [Read more…] about Solving Sexism In the Lindy Hop Community