Most things beginner dancers do are completely forgivable. Not knowing the steps, losing count with the music, being shy, fumbling dance etiquette. Advanced dancers have ALL been there.
In fact, many of us have even been to the places we’re about to go in this article. The serious problems. The things newbies do that annoy everyone around them, and for very good reason.
These are the things that more experienced dancers get upset about. And we can’t just walk up and to you and tell you fix it. How would you respond if someone stopped you on the road and instructed you on how dangerous it is to speed? Enough people speed that it would be a huge burden on the “good drivers” to police the bad drivers. That’s why we have police.
And that’s why you have a dance instructor. Generally it’s their job to keep you out of trouble. But some newbies don’t get the memo. Hell, some advanced and intermediate dancers fall through the cracks on these.
Take heart if you see yourself here. All of these problems can be fixed. The first step is knowing about it.
Problem 1: Kicking and stepping on people
Also known as bad floor craft. This is the absolute worst problem on the list.
Getting kicked multiple times in a night has been known to make dancers irate. The pain that’s associated with getting your Achilles tendon trampled makes it remarkably difficult to stay calm. Especially when the offender continues dancing without noticing your convulsions, cries of pain, and spew of expletives.
The best way to keep from hurting others is to look before you move. Yes, that means you will be constantly looking around you on a crowded floor, possibly enjoying your dance slightly less. That’s a small price to pay for keeping your feet out of other people’s flesh.
Problem 2: The Pretzel
For the people lucky enough to not know this move, it involves a lot of twisting your arms and bodies into awkward shapes as quickly as possible, most likely causing mild rotator cuff injuries.
Never, ever do the Pretzel. Never. Ever. It is not a cool move. It is horrible to follow and confusing to lead.
Problem 3: Entitlement complex combined with inferiority complex
I can handle people thinking they’re entitled to dance with everyone. I can handle people thinking they’re inferior. Both of those kinda suck. But they’re quite understandable, given our culture and given how hard it is to learn to dance.
But I can’t tolerate the attitude, “Good dancers should ask me to dance because I’m inferior.” That just blows my mind.
You ARE good enough to ask whoever you want to dance. If someone turns you down, it is not reflective of how good you are. Think of every dance is a gift shared with a friend, not something you are entitled to.
Problem 4: Throwing yourself around
Related to and sometimes a cause of kicking people.
Flailing around communicates that a dancer lacks concern for other people. In reality, dancers who flail haven’t realized that their balance and momentum are their responsibility. They see other people throw themselves around and think that’s how it’s done. And it’s fun! If you only do it once a month…
Once you get addicted and start dancing a lot, you’ll learn that throwing yourself around is tiring and painful.
Until then, I’m staying away from you.
Problem 5: Asking for advice at awkward times
It’s awesome that you are humble enough to ask for advice.
What you need to learn is how to ask so that you’ll more likely get a useful answer.
It’s bad timing to dance with a great dancer and ask afterwards, “What can I do to improve my dancing?” While you were focused on getting everything ‘right’, your dance partner was thinking, “This is fun! Cool move! This is some sweet music!” Or some such. The point is that they’re not dancing with you to analyze your connection or movement issues. They are dancing with you to have fun. Many people, especially instructors, feel put on the spot when asked this question.
If you really want to get some free advice, choose someone you’re close to. Don’t ask in the context of a dance you’ve just had, are having, or are about to have. And remember, specific questions (eg “How can I make this move better?” or “How does my balance feel here?”) are more likely to get useful answers.
Lastly, don’t be too put out if the person seems reluctant to switch from social dance mode to instructor mode. Instructors especially value their time off the clock.
Problem 6: Quitting dancing
I love sitting at the Century Ballroom, watching the newer dancers and wondering, “Which ones are going to get addicted? Which ones are going to get really good? Who will I be able to share that unique, indescribable bond with?”
I find it really hard to invest my time getting to know new dancers who quit after a year. Because it’s emotionally draining, I’ve found I can’t be the welcome wagon for every newbie (especially not in a scene the size of Seattle). I did that for a couple years in North Carolina. Honestly, it was a bit heart wrenching to lose new friends over and over.
It takes years to get tight with long-time dancers. Stick with us.
Cheer up. You are a beautiful snowflake.
Some of the words in this article may sting. Some of them may be uplifting (“At least I’m not doing that!“).
Know this: none of these are unforgivable sins. Fix what needs to be fixed, and keep having fun. We’ll still love you.
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I’ve been on both sides of the stepping on people issue, and it’s pretty horrible. The high heel to the tendon or directly on top of the foot is unimaginably painful (which, thank god a lot of people favor soft shoes).
I hurt a friend a year ago, which really was a terrible experience for me. I even looked, but it was one of those sudden things where you both make dramatic movements and disaster happens. I felt like the most horrible person ever. I never want to be responsible for someone else not being able to dance. It’s worse knowing that I wasn’t the one hurt that time.
And you hit on the two biggest psychological issues (3 & 5) that make it awkward, at times, to dance with beginners. Good advice.
I once sliced someone’s leg open with the heel of my shoe. I didn’t notice until several minutes later. I asked why blood was pouring out of her shin, and she said, “You did that.”
I was mortified and never wore those shoes again. On the plus side, she laughed it off.
Rebecca. AWESOME.
I have done all of these things. Some of them for an embarrassingly long time. I wish this list had been out there when I started!!!
I particularly agree with Numbers 1 through 6. :)
Thank you for putting up one of the most useful and important posts so far in this Blog for Newer Dancers. Nail-on-the-head time again…
Dude, I also wish I had seen a list like this long ago. It’s like I’m talking to “Newbie Me.” Thanks for the support (and confession). :-)
Oh no!! Pretzel is banned :( I was just about to learn it :(
I am guilty of every single thing on this list, save for quitting dancing. I’ve never done that, though I do have to say I have had a similar reaction. It really does make me reluctant to try and get to know more people when I’ve gotten to know -hundreds- of people who have just disappeared one day. It IS exhausting.
In regards to #1, the biggest one on the list here: A friend and I were dancing recently at Seattle’s Century Ballroom on a very crowded Sunday. It was our first dance of the night–we’d just walked in the door.
My partner got tripped at by a very quick, uncontrolled dancer near us that really came out of nowhere. She fell to the floor and hit with a ton of force. The newbie guy dancing near us who had tripped her looked over, then took his attention back to his partner without seeming to react at all. As I helped her up I was astonished that he hadn’t reacted AT ALL. Didn’t apologize, didn’t say anything.
That’s simply unacceptable. if you’re a new dancer and you don’t know certain etiquette–fine. If you trip someone to the floor, potentially injuring them seriously, you need to stop dancing and make sure they’re okay…whether you know social dancing queues or not. Continuing dancing in a situation like that and not acknowledging what happened is totally and completely outrageous.
Anyway, Rebecca, you’re wonderful and I love your blog! More more more!
Lee, I have no words. Unbelievable. (Okay, that was one word.)
Just say sorry in any case with close contact. If you did it, good. If you got hit good to, because now you are really sorry. And hopefully they kinda notice that they actually didn’t hit the floor but someone else.
The worst isn’t kicking someone but being unaware of the fact….
Great article! Under the category of Number 5, beginning follows often ask me in the middle of a dance, “Is that what I was supposed to do?” and I have no idea what she’s talking about, because it was like two moves ago, and I’ve already moved on. I usually just say, “Uh, I’m not sure, but it apparently worked!”
This, exactly this. My first thought is always, “Uh, I was supposed to be paying attention to what you’re doing right or wrong?”
I like your response.
It works in tango, too.
I answer “I don´t remember, it was seconds ago”!
I never ever learned the Pretzel in more than a decade of swing dancing. I don’t regret it either.
Well, I used to be guilty of #1, and I’m still sometimes guilty of #4 and #5. Sorry if the timing of my questions to you about my dancing was supes awks!
Another great post. :)
I agree with every comments done on this blog. One thing puzzles me.
The Pretzel. Yes. somewhat it is true what you are saying “For the people lucky enough to not know this move, it involves a lot of twisting your arms and bodies into awkward shapes as quickly as possible, most likely causing mild rotator cuff injuries.
Never, ever do the Pretzel. Never. Ever. It is not a cool move. It is horrible to follow and confusing to lead.
I suppose you meant Never , ever do the Pretzel with someone who you have not danced before… In my case I only do the Pretzel with girls who I know they know this movement quite well. Otherwise never.
Done properly, I mean properly it is a cool move (my opinion)
No, she means never ever do the pretzel. :) It looks ridiculous and isn’t swingin’.
another comment. sorry for posting twice. but after I made my comment I click on the link that you gave us about the Pretzel.
Horrible dancers. sorry of course now i know why you have said that it is not a cool move. horrible way. the dancers are not flexible enough. also I have to apologize for the way I am writing. I am not putting myself on a high pedestal as a dancer. I am making an observation here. But the way it was explain the move it was very good.
Totally, I’m talking about the move in the video. You can see how it awkwardly overextends the follower’s arms and shoulders.
Also, I agree, they do explain the move very well in the video! Too bad it doesn’t make it safe to do.
When teaching college swing club classes, or being stopped on the dance floor in the middle of a dance by people asking if I could teach them The Pretzel, I was very happy to honestly say that I didn’t know how to do it.
Rebecca B: laying it on the line for all of us. Never. Ever.
:)
Good for you, Sarah. Never. Ever.
I anxiously watched some newer dancers teaching each other the Pretzel the other night. Of course, the follow moved around awkwardly as the guys tried to get her to do it.
Unhappy face.
I LOVE the pretzel video!
I can’t say I’m in 100% agreement on #5. When I was new, I did that A LOT. Most Of the time it was with girls who had no idea how to lead and didn’t have much to say, which is fine. Sometimes they’d back lead a move to help me understand it, which was great. Not many seemed put out by it, but those who did were respected and I refrained from asking again.
About the FIRST time I started thinking I was hot stuff, I jada confusing dance with Casey where she didn’t really do much, so I asked about it. She hesitated, then explained that I wasn’t really leading her to do ANYTHING. she took about one minute of her time to show me what she ment and BLEW MY MIND! That was a HUGE part of what inspired me to start actually paying money for instruction. Had I not been comfortable asking, who knows how long I would have kept doing… Whatever it was I was doing.
From the other side, I remember a specific individual who always sought out the best dancers in the room and would always ask for feedback. She reminded me of me. BUT, after a while it got irritating. BUT, right about the same time, I noticed she’d gotten better. Then I started asking HER for dances. Then Chris was looking for dancers for his new team and I told him she was the one he was looking for. The rest is history.
I agree it can be irritating. That said, I did it. I’ve seen others do well with it. And, I will continue to encourage the practice. Within reason.
Awesome. What a great alternative perspective! I’m glad the world is not black and white. (Because then blogging wouldn’t be necessary. And that would be bad.)
Most experienced dancers are extremely reluctant to tell a newbie to never do this move or that.
Oh sure, we’ll say don’t wrench your follow’s arms, don’t clamp down with your thumb, and so forth, but moves? We want new dancers to feel welcome, inspired, and empowered (so that #6 doesn’t happen), but saying “don’t do this move” does just the opposite.
So thank you, Rebecca, for having the guts to say what the rest of us are too polite to say: We. LOATHE. The pretzel. It’s the single-most unaesthetic, unswinging, unleadable, unfollowable series of arm movements you can name that could be performed during a dance. And yes, I’m including semaphore in that list, because at least semaphore looks cool (in a military sort of way).
I love my auntie, my uncle, my cousins. But if they have posted a video clip like the Pretzel video, I would have said the same thing. Do not do the Pretzel. You dont have a clue on how to do it. Awkwardly danced. too stiff, pathetic. The Pretzel done properly it is an impressive move. I have seen 7 years ago I saw Slavik and Karina doing it. Awsome. My advice if you are at his or her level do it otherwise dont. Rebecca is absolutely right
About the pretzel: “This video demonstrates how to do the country swing dancing move called “The Pretzel.”"
Need I say more? Its country not Lindy. I could say even stuff like see what happens when cousins breed..
But I would like to add never ever ware (matching!) sports clothes while dancing!
I can both lead AND back-lead the pretzel. oh yeah.
I would like to let this stand, but I fear that the humor is opaque as text only. Anyway, it’s factually true, in that I can both lead and backlead one particular version of the pretzel (it’s not quite the same as on your video but it’s the same in arm-twisty spirit.) BUT… I learned it in high school, and I did grow out of it.
TOTALLY agree with you about the pretzel! It’s one of my biggest pet peeves. When I was starting I was even guilty of teaching it to people, and I completely regret adding to the number of people in this world who may at some point dance the pretzel.
Also, I posted a few weeks ago about swing dancer stereotypes. Check it out if you like :)
http://laurenkcampbell.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/people-youll-meet-swing-dancing/
Rebecca,
THANK YOU so much!! I started dancing last April but a very small scene and very small funds has made it hard for me to improve. Your tips are invaluable. I truly hope I will be one of those newbies who sticks it out, keeps improving, makes friends, and shares, as you aptly stated, “that indescribable bond”. So glad I was linked to your site!
You forgot number 7, my favourite, constantly apologising.
Last weekend a lovely older lead said to me ‘dear young lady, unless you have mortally wounded me, there is no need to apologise, we all make mistakes!’. I could have kissed him.
i don’t know about the pretzel or moves which require some kinda flexibility with the female dancer, i would say a bit from the male too, i just wouldn’t do it with someone i never dance before(salsa dancing) usually moves i have not master in latin i try them first in the easy but fun merengue and i take my time doing it, but there are other things so annoying: correcting people while dancing, lack of eye contact, looking bore, sweaty shirts(im fixing this lol), walking away from the dance! and also dancing only with some few dancers and not others, I think dance instructors should let students know social dancing is for fun, make the class fun, tell them to go out meet new friends, let them know about this things and how to fix them haha, also learn dance etiquette which i have seen professionals doing mistakes, for leaders is most important to take care of the follower on the dance floor so she does not get hurt, hope i had little to share :)
Actually, the Pretzel is fine. It’s just that people don’t know how to gracefully lead into it, gracefully lead it, and gracefully lead out of it. They tend to stop in the middle of the floor, yank your arms about as they convulse into it (and follows are just as bad when they don’t know how to follow/relax their arms into it), stop again when they get out, and then start dancing again. No offense meant to anyone – but the author must have A) never have had it lead well, or/and B) never have followed it well, and/or C) never have seen either be performed properly. Which unfortunately is easy to experience. But you can say as much about many of the Westie, Country Two-Step or Country Swing moves that get twirled about repetitively on the floor – as much as I dislike West Coast, at least they acclimate their dancers into getting in and out of those types of movement without disrupting flow, which East Coast – and many Lindy Hoppers – never learn to do.
The author actually has had the Pretzel successfully led on her. It was quite a surprise from an advanced lead who was being humorous with his dancing. :-)
The author is also a specialist in body mechanics and anatomy. The Pretzel quickly moves your rotator cuff in and out of challenging positions, whereas repeated turning does not. (Barrel rolls are similar, but don’t get quite as crazy as the Pretzel.)
Doncha worry, I do my homework!
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