Today I’m laying down a fresh new perspective on a tired old problem: creepiness.
Creepy (adj): Causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease. In lindy hop, a label given to a person (usually a man) who disrespects someone’s boundaries (usually a woman) in a way that makes her uncomfortable.
Women need to feel safe, respected, and able to maintain their boundaries at social dances. Usually women are unable to articulate exactly what bothers us about a creepy guy’s behavior. Many times we second-guess our feelings.
Instead of confronting you, we discuss it with each other. Before long you’re labelled as a “creep”.
I hypothesize that most “creeps” don’t mean to make women feel uncomfortable. I believe that if you understand exactly what you are doing and why it bothers us, 
you’ll respect that and change your behavior.
Are you secretly being called creepy? Take this quiz and find out what you can do about it.
1. Where do you look when you’re dancing with a woman?
“Her collarbone, neck, or shoulder.” Wrongo! A woman can easily mistake this for staring at her chest and feel extremely creeped out.
“Her eyes.” You probably think you’re making a deep connection by staring into her eyes. But unless you are lovers, this much intimacy feels creepy to the max.
“Anywhere but her.” Whether you’re nervous or showing off, this doesn’t set the right tone either. But you probably won’t be called creepy.
Best answer: Just over her shoulder, perhaps sometimes her feet. Several times per dance, make brief eye contact to connect visually. Also look around the dance floor so you don’t bump into anyone. Your partner will appreciate it.
If you're this brazen, your creepiness is no secret.
2. When you pull a woman into a very close position, what do you do if she squirms, tenses up, or stumbles?
“Hold her tighter and try to lead more clearly.” Nope, no good. These are often signs that she’s uncomfortable being that close to you. If she can’t get away from you, she’ll feel trapped. Your creep-o-meter just skyrocketed.
“That never happens.” Get a clue. You are probably not perceptive enough. Unless you only dance with a few people or never dance in closed position, chances are good that you’ve accidentally overstepped boundaries.
Best answer: Give her more space immediately. She might simply not be good at dancing that close together, or she might not be comfortable dancing that close to you. Don’t take it personally.
3. How often do you lead dips and tricks?
“I do tricks in most of my dances—they’re fun!” Hold up there, buddy. Dips and tricks are hard to lead and rarely musically and socially appropriate. Don’t dip with abandon; most women don’t like it.
Best answer: Occasionally, when appropriate, with good technique and a very capable partner.
4. Which parts of the female body are acceptable to touch during a dance?
Acceptable places to touch a woman in lindy hop.
- Mid/upper back
- Low back
- Head and neck
- Stomach
- Hips
- Hands
- Arms
- Thighs
- Chest
Best answer: Mid/upper back, hands, arms only (for 99% of moves you do). For the vast majority of people you will dance with, cross every other body part off your list (and never grasp her wrist). If you so much as brush any other body parts, a woman’s alarm bells start going off.
Oh, and if you ‘accidentally’ brush a boob? Be glad you don’t get a punch to the face. Honestly. If you’re not apologizing profusely, expect to be avoided. Start paying better attention to where your hands are, ya creeper!
An exception: When you are in very close position and your torsos are leaning on each other. This is advanced technique and should be practiced with great awareness of your partner’s boundaries.
5. How often do you try to pick up women at a dance?
“All the time.” You’re kidding right? You probably shouldn’t be a lindy hopper. I’m sure there’s some great booty dancing down at the local club.
“Frequently, occasionally, sometimes. If I can.” Careful. You don’t take a girl home from a dance like you just met her at a bar. We have spider sense. We know when you’re there to get laid, and we will avoid you.
Best answer: Very rarely, because you’re interested in getting to know people for real. You understand that sex happens (woo hoo!), but it’s not your prime motivator for swing dancing.
6. Mark any of the following that describe you:
- I’m 15 or more years older than the average age of people I dance with.
- I can be a little awkward sometimes.
- People have mentioned I have bad breath or BO.
- I sweat through my shirt easily and continue dancing for a while before changing.
- I occasionally need to tell follows how to do a move or lead more forcefully so they get it.
- I dress sort of sloppily and/or don’t comb or style my hair.
Taken singly, these factors don’t equal creepy. But when taken in conjunction (especially with one or more incorrect answers on question 1-5), these traits can easily double your creepiness factor.
Quick tips if you’re concerned that your intentions are taken the wrong way:
- Dress neatly. Comb your hair. Wear deodorant. Brush your teeth, chew gum, gargle with mouthwash as many times as you need. And change your shirt as soon as you sweat through it. If that adds up to 10 shirts a night, so be it.
- Dance with people of all ages. Most of us try very hard not to be ageist. It feels weird when we notice an older man dancing mainly with much younger women. We’re protective.
- Never instruct on the social dance floor. If a lead doesn’t work, don’t force it.
“I got some answers wrong! Now what??”
If you’ve read this post and see yourself here, I salute you. It takes great guts to admit fault.
If you got several answers wrong, you may have a bit of a reputation. Here’s the best advice I can give you:
Focus on what you can do to make it right, not on how you were misunderstood.
Women will forgive you when they see you’ve changed your mindset and especially your behavior. That’s not only good for women, it’s great for your social karma!
Have you ever successfully rehabilitated your “creepy” behaviors? Share your story in the comments!
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Great post! Creepiness is an issue for both creepers and non-creepers, I think. Some fellas fail to empathize with how is feels to fall victim to a creeper, so much so that I had an incredibly UNcreepy guy tell me that girls just need to get over being touched “accidentally” during a dance. But unless it’s with a lead I’m really comfortable with (read: boyfriend, husband), no matter how accidental it is, a boob swipe feels icky. I particularly hate when a lead reaches too far around my back (in a Texas Tommy, for instance), and grazes side boob. Blech.
I am very careful not to touch the red zones, but sometimes accidents happen. If I boob swipe a lady I promptly apologize even if it was her fault that it happened. Ladies know when it’s an accident but I think they feel assured and more comfortable if us guys apologize.
Ladies are very well aware of when it’s not an accident, so guys shouldn’t kid themselves into thinking that they will get away with being too touchy.
One guy mentioned that some men can’t tell the difference between boob and rib cage (or they’re just not paying attention). To me it’s a pretty big difference. Of course I’m a woman and a massage therapist. But the vast majority of guys manage to not ABG me. I have to think it’s not hard to learn.
Unless someone is REALLY saggy.. there is a difference. Sorry it is Friday my brain has started to go into weekend bad humor mode.
The only way that I could possibly see that is where the breast meets the chest or if someone is not well endowed but either way your hand should never be at the front part of a female anyways at least not in 95% of normal swing dancing and if it is your going for something either up and/or away from that area like an elbow, shoulder and neck (rarely).
I’d say to err on the side of caution–if you aren’t sure which it is, apologize anyway. If it turns out that it wasn’t really an ABG, then the girl will say, “Oh, you’re fine,” or something, and no harm done. It never hurts to apologize, and it definitely makes me more comfortable.
“but I think they feel assured and more comfortable if us guys apologize”
Been dancing on the swing scene for 4 years, and have definitely had the opposite experience.
It’s different if it’s agregious – one time it wasn’t even my fault, I put out my hand to connect with her hand, she put out her hand, I pulled her in towards me – she dropped her hand at the last second. I said something there.
But when I started and that “I’m not 100% sure if I accidentally touched her boob with that last move”, if it wasn’t aggregious, I was to shy to apologize, I would just be more careful not to do it.
Later I felt like I should say something, so I would apologize – that went *way* worse than just trying harder to avoid it. It was like – half the time, she didn’t even notice, and I felt like I somehow came across as *creepy* for having noticed. The other half of the time, seemed like she felt *more* uncomfortable with me verbally pointing it out than just letting it go.
After 3 times where that happened (over several, several months) were me apologizing resulted in the rest of the dance being akward and her being hesitant to dance with me again, I stopped doing it and went back to not saying anything.
My current approach if it happens (and it’s not aggregious) is to:
1. Make a slight facial expression like something went wrong – just like if you did a move wrong and it was your fault
2. Make more of an effort with my frame to avoid having it happen again
3. Not say anything unless she says something or looks more uncomfortable – which I don’t think has ever happened
There’s also the case where if you’re taking beginner classes – some side-boob you cannot avoid (it has to do with the way she does her swing out – if she does it wrong in a certain way, it’s impossible to reach her back without getting a little sideboob).
I do *try* really hard to avoid ever hitting the “slap zone” as we call it where I dance, but I’ve had a few really uncomfortable experiences when I pointed out that it happened and apoligzed, so I personally would not say that “the side of caution” is actually saying something.
It’s *really* been my experience that girls friend it creepier and point it out, than to not say much, indicate with a facial expression that something went wrong, and just try hard to keep it from happening…
Fabulous post! Hopefully there is an expanded post about “teaching/forceful leading” on the dance floor? This is the WORST.
Thank you for posting this, it’s very interesting to get a different perspective! While I do think that a lack of acknowledgment is much creepier than an accidental swipe, I agree with your approach. The slightly pained facial expression is a safe bet.
But your wording has me curious about what you mean by “pointing out that it happened”. If you’re actually pointing it out – “Oh, I just swiped your boob! Sorry!” – I can understand why women are uncomfortable. There’s rarely any reason to name your mistakes, because your partner is usually aware that you stepped on their foot/almost lead them into another couple/accidentally touched their boob/etc. Drawing attention to a particular mistake is a bit jarring, and I can see how someone would thing you’re paying too much attention.
wow, one hell of a article.
I usually watch the dance floor for space when I am dancing, so maybe I should like into a girls eyes little more.
As a guy I think you should try to ask every girl for a dance if possible. I think you owe the venue that much.
If you give people a chance to to know you and keep going back to the same venue generally people will warm up to you over time
I know what you mean, I have to put effort into making eye contact. I have always been the kind of person who stares down at ground when walking by someone on the street. I would add I think smiling while looking into the eyes is also more easing then a dramatic gaze. ;)
I enjoyed this article, always good to have reminders. This article does seem imbalances though. As a lead I have been creeper out many times, it would have been nice to have done some research and include both sides, even if it is less common.
Spell check on my phoned changed several words, but I think you get the gist of it.
I have no experience with creepy women. An article which addresses that situation would be written very differently. Maybe I’ll interview some guys!
I would love to read an article like that. I never know what to tell leads. I have lots of good advice for my female students about how to handle leads that make them uncomfortable, but nothing for my dude students! How do you make space for yourself if the follow is too close? What do you do if she keeps trying to dip herself or puts her arms around your neck and you don’t want her to?
I would love to hear some good solutions from experienced leads.
I’ve got a trick that helps with the self-dippers. Don’t put your hand on her back. Put it in her side. This way you can still lead clearly, but she doesn’t have the option of throwing her weight back into your arm. You both get to enjoy the dance without the guy having to hold her up AND without having to bring attention to her mistake.
Ack! ON her side! Not IN her side. Phone keyboards…
I actually had to be told not to dip myself. Sort of. It was the second time I’d been dipped, and I thought throwing myself into it was expected.
Well, it wasn’t. I didn’t enjoy being told I was doing something wrong, dangerous, and/or annoying, but I sure as hell didn’t do it again.
Yeah, I think part of why people are less concerned with creepy follows is because if they start doing that nonsense, the lead can just not ask her ever again. With women, we can’t really tell a guy to “never ever ask me to dance again ever” without feeling rude, so we have to continually deal with the creepy people if they haven’t gotten the message that we don’t want to dance with them. Also, a lot of the “creepy” follower behaviors you described seem less creepy (at least in the context of the creepiness that women often experience from men) and more like just bad following.
@ Mary: I’m a bit confused by what you’re saying; do followers never ask leaders to dance in your scene?
I went to a place to dance recently because I was in town. It was a great time except for the guy that wanted to lindy hop in a balboa position. Ugh. Too close, too tight, I’m sure my frame was fantastic, lol. I didn’t want to be rude and walk away but sometimes I wonder if that’s what you should do.
I really think there *are* times you should just walk away from a dance. But it’s so hard to draw the line sometimes.
My opinion:
Before one walks away from a dance, please give the partner another chance. Explaining to your partner what makes you uncomfortable and how your partner can change provides an opportunity for improvement and a good dance.
**exception-An extreme invasion of body space** If you feel extremely uncomfortable due to an act that could be considered criminal, please leave. You don’t deserve this. This happened at an event and the “victim” dancer explained the situation to an event organizer. It was handled discreetly but appropriately.
If the behavior doesn’t change, feel free to try explaining again with another chance or quickly explain why you’re leaving and walk away. Use your own judgement. It depends how forgiving you are but I’m not going to suggest you stay there and suffer through 10 “A”BGs before you leave.
Good choice for an article, Rebecca. It’s probably like a lot of bad feedback, in that one is unlikely to ever receive it. (“Your feet really stink!”) So I guess the best thing to do is consider whether one is ever being perceived as creepy, and do one’s best to reduce the liklihood.
On a couple of the points, I’ve considered the top of the hips of a follow fair game on Balboa Lolleys – that’s how I was taught to lead them. As for the accidental boob contact – it happens. I’ve seldom mentioned it, as to not draw attention to it. I think that most of the time, most follows would realize whether or not it was from bad form, intentional, or just an accident (caused unintentionally by either or you). And the latter one I’d hope most follows wouldn’t dwell on.
I’ll try to change my shirts earlier. Thanks.
I have to say, this definitely runs both ways, even though it’s more common that men are creeping.
I think a good rule of thumb for eye contact is Do Whatever Would Seem Normal in Conversation. If you don’t know what this means, watch some normal people having a friendly conversation. When you’re talking to someone, you don’t stare directly into their eyes the entire time, or gaze at their feet or shoulders. Your eyes naturally flit from the face, to other things in the room, in a normal, natural way (easier said than done while dancing, I know). I think some of the people who have trouble with eye-contact while dancing probably also have trouble with eye-contact while talking, but it’s something to think about.
I think it’s also important for follows to feel empowered to not follow things that make them uncomfortable. If you don’t want to dip, don’t freaking dip. You don’t have to give your weight to anyone if you don’t trust them. If the lead is holding you too close, make some space for yourself (using the Time-Honored Arm-Wedge, ask me to show it to you!), or even say “You’re holding me too close.” If someone is creeping you out by trying to lead moves by the neck, say, “I don’t like being touched on the neck.” We ARE allowed to speak to each other on the dance floor. A culture of passive-aggressiveness (heLLO Seattle!) can create unnecessary tension in a venue.
Well said. Speak up follows! I had a follow once squeeze my man boobs because she thought it was funny (and yes this was a follow that I had danced with a lot and was never uncomfortable with before). Next time she asked me to dance, I said, “only on the condition that you don’t molest me”… Speak up!
Also, that link to the fine and dandy blog is priceless. I’m forwarding that to every boy I know so they can all be FINE. And dandy.
This article does a great job addressing possible non-intentional “creeps”.
I’d LOVE to see an article addressed to victims of creepy behavior. As stated in the beginning, many follows talk amongst each other. Some don’t even do that. Some just stop dancing. What can/should the follow/victim do?
Where’s the article on leaving the jerk alone on the dance floor mid-song, or on appropriate steps to get someone 86′d, or proper face slapping technique?
HA! Women are going to need to grow a whole lotta guts to use those tactics.
Agreed. Do you think that’s excessive? Ideas on how to get women to be pro active on this? Other suggestions? The status quo just bugs me…
Jason: http://shitmariesays.blogspot.com/2013/05/communication-tips-from-my-best-self.html
I like to include sometimes extriem level changes in my dance. I’ll sometimes drop real low then push off the top of my partners bent leg to get back up. This happens more often in “blues”, and maybe that makes a difference. In lindy hop it’s less common and usually with partners I know well, but that has more to do with skill than familiarity.
Response is usually positive. On the rare occasion it isn’t, I don’t repeat it.
Context means a lot, like the exception you gave about torsos touching in closed.
There have been several times in the past few months where I have been asked out in the middle of a song (Or in general by people I’ve just met). It creates a very awkward and uncomfortable situation especially because its someone who I’ve never had a conversation with outside dancing during one song in a particular evening. I try to be blunt but polite when I decline but some people don’t seem to get the point. It’s hard to know the appropriate way to handle these types of situations. Does anyone have advice on dealing with this type of thing?
Thank your lucky stars for being the privileged gender which gets to be asked out side. Be honest, if you found the guy cute enough, or your type, you’d be flattered and talk about how amazingly romantic it was that he asked you out after a single dance.
YeahNO. Some people look for more than “cuteness” in a potential romantic partner. Some people can’t tell if they’re interested based one dance with a person.
Also, privileged gender? Really? You know, you’re right! I can have penis whenever I want! I just walk down the street and get penises offered to me left and right. I don’t have to lift a finger. What a privilege.
No thanks. I’ll take equal pay any day. Being asked out is not a mother-effing privilege.
AlekNovy, your comment is strange. a) Women are perfectly capable of asking men out, and asking men to dance. Have you never been asked out by a woman? b) The situation you are addressing, where the ask-out happens AFTER a dance, is very different from the situation Elizabeth mentioned, where the ask-out happened to her DURING a dance. In your situation, the invitee can respectfully decline the invitation and walk away gracefully, saving the inviter’s dignity. When folks asked poor Eliz. out DURING a dance, and she didn’t want to go out with them, she could answer yes and be disgusted with herself, answer no and be uncomfortable for the rest of the dance, or walk away. Why would any dancer want to put a partner into that uncomfortable situation during a dance? Why would any dancer want to ask during a dance and risk being humiliated by the unwilling invitee? What is keeping the inviter from just waiting until the end of the dance? Why not focus everybody’s attention on dancing better and talking less?
Good article.
I’d like to comment on just one aspect of it, though.
Leads!
If you lead a move and it doesn’t work and it is a move that is usually easily led, then come back to it after your partner has had a couple of moves happen without incident, BUT! adjust your lead so your partner gets a better signal for that move. [ If you're dancing with someone who has that stiff locked elbow or the cooked spaghetti arms - FORGET IT!]
Do not show her how to do the move while you’re dancing. If she’s interested and alert, she’ll ask you about it off the floor.
Happy dancing
Brilliant
I’ve noticed that people are generally better dancers when they are relaxed and not focusing so much energy on all the things that aren’t working. This is amplified when dancing with a partner that will consistently point out all the leads you are ‘missing’ and how you’re getting it wrong. this makes follows more nervous and more likely to focus on what not to get wrong. however.. energy flows where attention goes and you are more likely to repeat the error. I’ve found that if a lead tries a move and I don’t get it the first time but we laugh and improvise and have fun.. I always get it the next time they attempt the same move
Nice article. Same rules exactly would apply to WCS. Interesting thought though is that a number of these rules wouldnt be appropriate in other dance styles. Ive found swing dancers in general (WCS and lindy) to be more conservative about personal space than say Argentine Tango, bachata, zouk, or salsa dancers. Zouk for example is often a full body contact dance. Of course some things like boob gropes are universally avoided. Is distance from partner a factor in people choosing lindy/wcs as a dance. Ive had girls freak out in Wcs when i bring them to a clise hold position that would be considered normal in tango and a little conservative for zouk. Great article. Easily adaptable for other styles i think.
You make it sound as though it’s all one-way traffic, and occasionally it’s not! I had difficulty trying to avoid one young follow who spent every dance staring into my eyes and grinning madly. With a 20+ year age gap it was disconcerting and uncomfortable. As a middle-aged bloke I’m rather reticent of asking younger follows for a dance at the best of times for fear of being branded ‘creepy’.
(but ‘ditto’ re the shirts, must do that more often!)
Yikes!! The eye contact thing. It’s creepy when anyone does it! I need to get more male perspectives on how women are creepy, even though it’s not as common.
On a personal level Im sure that i am guilty of doing things within the boundaries of what you describe as being creepy. Now the key is that it is not intentional nor habits which persist but just occassional oversights.
It would be too awful to think you might be considered as the creepy guy and enough to put me off dancing other than with my wife and a few trusting and trusted followers.
A huge part of the joy of dancing is dancing with new and different follows. I will definitely be keeping your advice in mind and hopefully my follows comfortable when they dance with me.
This a very important issue that doesn’t get talked about openly enough, so I’m very glad you brought it up. In general when creepers are talked about it is to warn others and in hushed tones as to not let them overhear. I think this is what really needs to stop. For years I gave polite excuses to leads who I was uncomfortable dancing with, but that didn’t solve the problem and created negative feelings around the dance floor. When you do not communicate your discomfort you are denying the other person the right to try and accommodate your request. Today I am a scene leader and it is one of my responsibilities to address the creeper, and honestly the results can be very positive. The last person I talked to was grateful to be told how he could improve because he WAS there to make friends and to work on becoming a better dancer. So, I challenge those of you with creepers to find a way to respectfully tell the person why you hesitate when they ask you to dance. Tips: Use “I” statements, avoid blame, and be encouraging. Also remember, dancing is a learning process, so sometimes people need to be educated in the ways of lindy courtesy. Conflict can be a good thing, it is not always bad. Good conflict is the kind that gets resolved. Bad conflict is the kind that doesn’t get resolved.
Amen! Though I may have been more dramatic, this is exactly what I was getting at in my first post.
+1 – this hidden “oh, we’re talking about creepy guys secretly thing – we’re so exciting tehe!” theme really only has two effects -
1. The guys who aren’t creepy guys but are just akward don’t get feedback that what they’re doing (that they don’t mean to be creepy) is being taken as creepy, so they don’t change – because they don’t know they’re supposed to.
2. The genuinely creepy guys keep coming and doing the same things because there’s no negative for them.
Though honestly, at the same time, the swing scene has one of the lowest creeper rates of any open social scene I’ve seen.
Good article overall!
On eye contact:
I would say this depends on what sort of dancing you are doing as well. In the latin dances, eye contact is highly encouraged – tends to be more intimate of a dance style. But it often solves a little problem with both connection and shaping (the body tends has a tendency to follow where the eyes go).
On body parts:
I agree that with Lindy Hop it is best to keep the hands in Hitches friends zone. But in other dance circles their are 16 points of contact that can be used for a lead (one on each side) – hands, hips, wrists, shoulders, should blades, ribs, legs, and arms. I would probably leave those personally for more advanced dancers who know each other well.
On another note, I’ve heard a couple respected teachers who have taught that when you do charleston it is okay to place your hand on the hip of the follow as it tends to be a better lead.
I guess the bottom line is this: how comfortable is the follow with you as a person (have you just met them or have you been friends for years) and what type of dance are you doing – because some of the leads and eye contact is expected.
ARGH! I am that creepy lead
“6. Mark any of the following that describe you:
- I’m 15 or more years older than the average age of people I dance with.”
That’s me! I’m 37 (nearly 38) and I’m often 15 years older than my dance partners!
“I can be a little awkward sometimes.”
Awkward is my middle name.
“People have mentioned I have bad breath or BO.”
Hm, actually, not so much. They’re too polite.
“I sweat through my shirt easily and continue dancing for a while before changing.”
Guilty as charged.
“I occasionally need to tell follows how to do a move or lead more forcefully so they get it.”
I never do this. Wrongtown.
“I dress sort of sloppily and/or don’t comb or style my hair.”
Ahahahha – this is totally me.
I am that creepy lead. But I’m a woman – does that make a difference?
But in all seriousness, this article is fun… no, wait, it’s _important_ and helpful. srsly. :D
D- I was wondering what your reply would be. Good to know that you’re creepy! ;-)
Nope, makes no difference. For me, the only difference is that there are more male leads than female leads with whom I am comfortable in close embrace. I would be comfy with perhaps 75% of male leads in close embrace, and maybe 25% of female leads. It’s just about how my relationship is with them and what energy I feel coming from them. But other than that, I don’t think any of the other rules are gender-specific.
Forget the age difference. If the person you dance with enjoys the experience, that’s all that matters.
My first competition dance partner was 17 [I was 51]. I’m now 65 and just attended her second wedding to #2 hubby [the first one didn't take]
We are still very good Friends
That’s great! I wish we could forget the age difference. But I think our cultural norms make us stop and go, “Hm…”
If a 20 year old woman starts hanging out with a bunch of older men, you wonder why. If an older woman starts hanging out with a bunch of younger men, you wonder why. In lindy hop, we have a variety of ages to hang out with. So it makes me go “Hm…” when an older man chooses to only (or mainly) dance with much younger women.
By itself, no problem. But with other yellow or red flags I mentioned in the article, it starts to get creepy. I’ve been that younger girl dancing with an older man who was staring at me and holding me too tight (or dipping me three times per song). It made me feel uncomfortable.
“I’ve been that younger girl dancing with an older man who was staring at me and holding me too tight (or dipping me three times per song). It made me feel uncomfortable.”
Does this mean the staring, too-tight holding, and excessive dipping would have been okay if he were younger?
I like this article and its method of self-reflection as opposed to one of reactivity. However, a topic I’d like to see addressed is the communication skills/methods we can use when addressing these things as a community. (Posting this up = passive-aggressive?) Since this is a blog for beginning dancers, I guess I’m really looking for a blog for scene organizers…
So far, I’ve only thought of friendly etiquette announcements and one-on-one “interventions”. The interventions require a lot of tact and forthrightness, though.
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