This is a guest post from Coyle Parker.
March was a three year anniversary for two significant events in my life.
First, I found Lindy Hop and was hooked before I even started.
Second, less than a month into dancing I quit smoking. I’m proud that I stopped smoking, but more importantly I found dancing.
After three years of obsessing about lindy hop, I feel burned out.
I still love the dance, but my enthusiasm for social dancing has faded. It’s a combination of graduating from school, being unemployed, and living in a dance scene that struggles with growth.
For inspiration I sought advice from artists, dancers and others who have reached the next level in their game. Recently I did an interview with lindy hoppers Dan Newsome and Gaby Cook from Seattle, WA. Their answers thoughtfully touched on issues a lot of dancers struggle with.
Dan gave me a new perspective on my feelings of burn out.
“I think that it’s common to feel burnt out, and I feel there are three reasons. One reason is when people don’t have the information required to progress. Another is when they don’t feel like they have a role in the scene that they are happy with. And the third is not connecting to the music.”
When I began dancing I didn’t have appreciation for jazz music. Like so many others I went through the motions following the footwork and choreographed sequences from classes. I could keep a beat but it took a while to feel the music.
When I was offered a DJ slot I began collecting music. The more I listened to the music the more I appreciated it. At this point my dancing quickly grew.
It didn’t take long to hit a brutal plateau.
This is where I lost interest in dancing. There weren’t many dancers locally to look up to. Most had stopped coming out and still only occasionally show up to dances. Even watching video clips had lost the excitement.
With a couple trips out of town I realized something important:
Traveling to dance events can rejuvenate the dance soul.
I truly believe that this can pull anyone through those moments in dancing.
I also have found to listen to my body and trust my instincts. When I feel done for the night, I’m probably done. In the interview Dan said:
“I used to force myself to stay at a dance when I wasn’t feeling it. I finally had to realize that sometimes it’s better to just go home.”
Now I’ve mostly pushed through my frustrations. I can connect to the music. I practice choreography with a partner who helps me grow. I even learned to just go home when I’m not feeling it.
What’s missing is finding my place within the scene.
Yes, I appreciate what Portland dancers gave me. It is a supportive and extremely kind hearted scene. But I found that I need more. Speaking to this, Gaby Cook said during the interview:
“I think one of the keys to improving with Lindy Hop is to allow yourself do some other things. You have to let yourself stray and find another hobby or miss your exchange one year with the knowledge that you can always come back. The key here is not that you find another hobby, but you let yourself do it, if you feel like your heart isn’t being fulfilled by Lindy Hop.”
I have hit many lows and highs on this journey. Going out social dancing eventually didn’t fulfill my desires as a creative individual. So I’m trying to feel OK about doing other things.
I have gone back to passions that already existed like making art. I’ve also started new projects like blogging, choreography and soon tap classes. My social dancing has been cut down to once a week. But I feel rejuvenated with this brief step back.
The point is that if you feel any of this, you’re not alone.
Even the “bad ass” Lindy Hoppers out there sometimes just can’t do another song. I ignored the voice telling me to go home. But really, it’s OK to go home.
Keep dancing, keep working hard, keep the passion burning in your soul—but be easy on yourself.
No matter if you’re a beginner, middle man, or bad ass we are all learning and progressing as dancers. If you allow yourself to grow internally, spiritually and intellectually you will see results in every aspect of life. Trust yourself and be true.
And most importantly if I’m in your city or you’re in mine, let’s dance.
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Coyle. Nice post.
I’m curious about the following sentence: “Going out social dancing eventually didn’t fulfill my desires as a creative individual.” – you then talk about “making art”, choreography and blogging.
Could you elaborate a bit on why your creativity can’t be expressed social dancing? Is it just the way of it or is it somehow related to the nature of social dancing vs the other arts (which seem to distinguish themselves in that they produce a “finished” product – but maybe there are other differences I’m not seeing).
Not everyone gets burnt out social dancing. I personally have just felt that only social dancing has lead to me just doing the same things over and over. I kind of stopped progressing at a certain point. I wanted to physically express myself but often can’t because of my lack of ability. So doing choreography and working outside of social dancing helps me push myself and learn more. This allows me to go and express myself on the social floor better. I do personally enjoy having a finished product of something that I created but the reality is that no art is ever complete unless you give up learning. I hope this answers your question. Feel free to say so if it didn’t. Thanks for the comment.
Coyle
Nice article, Coyle. The three reasons dancers often burn out that you listed definitely resonate with what I’ve seen in myself and others. It’s so good to bring this out into the open so we can know what’s really going on with ourselves (that burning out doesn’t mean we’re losing passion for the dance itself) so we can find ways to rekindle the romance and hopefully improve our teaching and community building. Thanks for this!
This article definitely resonates with me, too. I think reason #1, when “people don’t have the information required to progress” is a huge problem for advanced dancers.
‘Progress’ doesn’t always take you toward being like the star lindy hoppers you see on Youtube. I think progress often means finding a niche for yourself in the dance scene where you feel you are a valuable asset. And that niche might not be something that exists in your local scene yet.
Too often, I see dancers slow down or quit because they don’t know what else to do once they’ve reached a certain point.
Feeling burnt out? Try another dance. There’s so many, and they’re all so awesome. Lindy Hop is but one of them. It is awesome. So are the others, in their own ways. Portland has an amazing tango scene thanks to Alex Krebbs. He teaches for free. Learn from him. Your Lindy will improve because of it.
A lot of people will be dance purists/snobs and say you’re corrupting yourself if you learn another dance. They’re simply wrong. In a recent class I took with Nick and Carla, they totally taught a tango move on counts six, seven and eight of the swing out–for reals! Every time I lead that move on follows I get a huge smile. If I had never learned tango prior to that class, I probably wouldn’t have been able to lead the move well enough to do socially. So thank you Nick, thank you tango, and thank you cross training.
I think dancing mirrors ourselves and the rest of our lives. It’s also easy to get burnt out with life. At some point you have to find a sense of purpose in dancing and the dance community you are in. The things that make us happy early in life don’t always hold true later on. If you have been dancing 3 years you are an elder statesman. Trust me, dance for 5 years in a community and 99% of the people you started with will be gone. In an 8 year period of starting in Lindy for a few years, going to Salsa, and recently coming back to Lindy this is what I have found.
People dance because:
1. They like the community and the people.
2. They are passionate about it and they bring it to the dance vs trying to get it from the dance (more of an addiction).
3. Hopefully they like the music.
4. They give back to the dance and have a sense of purpose such as helping beginners, volunteering, encouraging others, or just showing up to keep things going.
I have heard so many people say they are addicted to dancing. This means you mainly go to get high. The high will wear off in time and addicts tend to be about themselves. This is different than passion. Sometimes I watch my old Frankie Manning teaching videos he made with Erin Stevens and he is just happy and having fun teaching a swingout. He had joy in his soul and he brought it to dancing. I don’t think he was attached to getting better it just happened because he loved to dance first and foremost and he loved the music and most of all, people. I took classes with him and he was one of the nicest guys I ever met and he really promoted dance etiquette and made sure we treated everyone with respect. He made everyone feel important.
I originally left Lindy to go to Salsa because the Lindy community at the time seemed to be having issues. I liked the Salsa community better but after having been there for 5 years and risen to the highest level (having auditioned to get in the last few levels of class) I realized I didn’t know the name of one song. I barely recognized songs that came on when other people went nuts for certain songs, I suddenly realized I had no passion for the music. The community had also changed. I started swing dancing again early this year, the community had improved, and I love the music. I can be happy just listening to the music some nights if I am tired.
Also, some night if you aren’t feeling it out dancing, try something different. Try to make your partner happy. Give them some energy. Also, there is nothing like dancing with beginners in my opinion to realize what this is all about. Spend half your night dancing with beginners. Help them out and let them know you are glad they came. Dancing is new and a big deal to them and it is infectious. This is the coming of age part of a dance community where it becomes something bigger than yourself. Part of dancing is about service and purpose and it will help you remember why you are there.
Most importantly I have learned the dance community is what we make it. I am really thankful for the leadership in the Lindy community who have made the sense of community and the way people treat each other a priority. You don’t appreciate that until you lose it which has made me want to help out as much as I can.
Have been on two dance circuits for 17yrs, and would add some observations. Here in the UK we have a vibrant rock and roll scene, and I talk to people who are still attending after 30years. This is mainly down to their love of the music, and lots also enjoy dancing although I know lots who just attend, and do not dance. This is not something I see at Lindy events, but do not know why.
Another key reason why people attend is due to a relationship failure, or the desire to meet ‘that someone’. One they find somebody, (and it often is not at a dance) they stop attending.
Dancing other styles can help, I have seen the changes that other styles have had on Lindy, especially Modern Jive here in uk.
How do I enjoy it now? I pass on what I have learned, and when you see a roomful of people enjoying a dance, whom you taught, it is a fantastic, lovely feeling.
Thanks to everyone for these blog’s, love it!