In my Asian husband’s famous, not quite politically correct style, he declares, “You hold your chopsticks like a Chinaman!”
For the last two years, I’ve fastidiously worked on my chopstick technique. Recently I’ve had quite a breakthrough, mastering a particular technique that’s made me stronger and more dextrous.
I first picked up chopsticks as a child. Initially I was quite clumsy, like any American.
Now, a mere 20 years later, I am triumphant. My pride is thick in the air. I’m savoring this moment of transitioning from boor to expert. My effort has paid off.
Naturally I feel a strong urge to blog about it.
As you may or may not have noticed, learning any skill has similarities to lindy hop. Chopsticks are particularly similar in how stupid they make you feel if you can’t do it correctly the first time, and how much patience it takes to feel natural.
Allow me to explain. Behold…
10 Lessons Learned From Using Chopsticks
1. Discomfort is a natural part of the learning process. I’ve had many frustrating meals while dropping the simplest pieces of food. Especially when trying to fix a flaw, the discomfort may be almost unbearable.
2. A little practice here and there is better than none at all. My chopstick use is intermittent. Nonetheless, I work on improving my chopsticks skills every time I use them.
3. Listen to the people who know what they’re doing! Even if you are resistant like I am, file away the information so you can work on it next time.
4. Watch and mimic the people who know what they’re doing. My Korean friends may not know this, but I always sneak glances at their chopstick hand when we sit down for a meal. I repeatedly adjust my own chopsticks to try to match theirs.
5. Real friends won’t make fun of your efforts. The rest don’t matter.
6. Patience, determination, and attention to detail will take you a long way. You can’t rush the process simply because you desire to look like you’ve been doing it your whole life.
7. One the other hand, too much determination will lead to starvation. Perfection is unattainable, and you do have to eat at some point. Nourish yourself to sustain your reserves for learning.
8. Using proper technique slowly will help you far more than using sloppy technique quickly. If it takes me a few seconds longer to pick up my food, so be it. Creating a mess by trying to be fast shows impatience and overconfidence. Plus it’s embarrassing.
9. Test your learning by changing the circumstances. Good technique can be adapted to different types of chopsticks, different types of food. If a new circumstance breaks your method, you may need to continue working on it.
10. Finally, use the right tool for the job. As I sat struggling to pick up the last few mouthfuls of rice from my bibimbap, hand cramping like crazy, a Korean friend said, “You know, we use spoons for that.” It was a revelation.
We can’t be working on lindy hop all of our waking hours. Why not pick up a pair of chopsticks (or some other deceptively simple skill) and remember what it’s like to be a beginner? Engage in the learning process from a completely different angle. You may be surprised at what you discover!
What non-dance activity has helped YOU understand lindy hop better?
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
As you alluded to in your opening paragraph, different cultures hold their chopsticks differently, and they’re all pretty effective at transferring food from dish to mouth. Similarly, just because someone elses (dance) style is a little different from yours doesn’t mean that its better or worse, just different.
These are sage words.
However, I have to quote that Facebook old group name: :Bad technique is NOT a style”
Different styles are awesome. Sloppy technique is not. As long as people understand the difference, then it’s all good! :)
I’ve been using chopsticks my whole life. Sometimes, when people get really good at using chopsticks, they start to think that chopsticks are the be-all end-all of eating utensils, that all other eating utensils are inferior or unnecessary. The truth is, all eating utensils have their time and place. One shouldn’t let the mastery of one skill blind oneself to the utility of other skills.
I love how much of this showed up in that book “The Talent Code.” I just finished the library copy I borrowed after seeing your note about it on your Facebook page. Wow. I just may have to buy it.
To answer your question: I just started ping pong. Some of what I heard in the first hour as a guru taught me one-on-one: “on the balls of your feet,” “bend your legs,” “put your weight on the one foot,” “move with your body but follow through with your arm,” “relax,” “don’t move more than you have to,” “face your opponent ” and so on….
I suppose it’s less of an analogy and more of a direct application of the skill. Still, pretty cool. :)
Golf was the revelation for me. My dad was always amazing at golf, so I never was that interested. When I started to play (in my 30s) I realized 1) how much fun it was, 2) that I had to give myself permission to mess up A LOT, but that was ok, and 3) why no one ever wanted me to teach them to dance. I never wanted my dad to teach me golf, cause its embarrassing to be new at something in front of someone you care about. I never got that before, but I totally forgive all my friends who said they were interested in swing dancing and then never let me teach them. Cause apparently I feel the exact same way
Reminds me when I learned how to play piano when I was a child / teenager… it’s like lindy hop, but it takes 10 times more practice to be decent (i’m not talking about learning a routine for a show which takes a lot of practice). My mother must had been a saint because she was always hearing me practicing… the piano was in the living room. It must have been horrible for her ears.
By the way, learning how to play a music instrument helps a lot in lindy hop because you get to know a lot about music (beats, tone, music phrases, tempo, how to interpret a song with feelings so your version is unique, etc.). More importantly, you get to play with other musicians. And when you do, you need to let go the autopilot and listen. If you play the song perfectly, but that one or 2 plays too fast or too slow, it’s not good. The same is applied to lindy.
More importantly, when you learn how to play music, you get to learn how to mess up with grace. The goal is simple : when you make a mistake, you need to go on as if you were perfect so the audience think that nothing’s wrong. It’s much easier said than done, and it took me my last 2 years to master. And I played piano for 10 years.
One of the tips I learned is : when you learn something by heart (by practicing over and over), always have as much “checkpoints” you ca go if you mess up. Once, I was playing at a show and forgot a part of the song. So I skipped a whole page without stopping at all (the song was 5 pages long). Nobody noticed (except my teacher), and I said to noone that I skipped a page. Some people even said to me that my song made them cry! (it was a sad song) It was great!
In lindy hop, if you mess up a complicated move… and you can go to another move or do a different variation, then do it. If you can’t do it, then it’s a new move you just invented! It happends to me all the time.