When you don’t know someone well, there’s pretty much ONE way to ask them to dance.

And there are at least 27 ways which will most often get you rejected.

How many have you done? In my earlier dance years, I’d be guilty of at least half. I wondered why certain people didn’t want to dance with me. Then I’d get pissy or sit in the corner and sulk.

Would YOU want to dance with this?

I hope that doesn’t sound familiar. But if it does, you can analyze and fix your dance-asking strategies. First, let’s cover what you may be doing to sabotage yourself.

27 Ways to be Rejection Magnet

  1. Ask someone who’s avoiding eye contact
  2. Ask someone in the middle of a conversation
  3. Run across the floor to catch someone
  4. Hold your hand out at an awkward or wimpy angle while asking
  5. Holding your hand out. Period.
  6. Grab someone who’s walking past you
  7. Ask too quietly
  8. Be over the top
  9. Ask a group of people if one of them wants to dance
  10. Ask someone outside of the dance room
  11. Ask someone who’s solo dancing
  12. Ask someone who’s getting ready to leave
  13. Don’t make eye contact
  14. Walk up and tap someone from behind
  15. Ask like you’re scared they’ll say no
  16. Pounce on someone when they’re about to ask someone else to dance
  17. Be aggressive or pushy
  18. Ask someone who looks bored
  19. Ask someone who is surrounded by a group of friends
  20. Ask someone who’s falling asleep
  21. This is my rejection magnet. I use it when I'm feeling particularly sorry for myself.

  22. Ask someone who’s sitting waaay at the back of the dance room, behind bags, coats, shoes, and hoards of people who look like they want to dance
  23. Ask someone who’s standing next to another person on the dance floor
  24. Look annoyed when you’re asking
  25. Stick your foot out when someone’s walking past
  26. Act like you don’t care if they say yes or no
  27. Act like the kernel of your self esteem rests on whether they say yes or no
  28. Wait for someone to ask you to dance

Why do people use these strategies in the first place? Lots of reasons: nerves, shyness, poor understanding of social cues, cultural differences, a sense of entitlement that everyone should dance with you.

Note: When you know someone well, you can bend social rules and norms a little. You wouldn’t fart loudly in a room of people you don’t know, but your friends might laugh.

The same goes with asking someone to dance. At your own risk, you can interrupt a conversation, be over the top, or not make eye contact. Or make that funny jerking motion your friends have come to understand as, “You dance with me now.”

How should you ask someone to dance? It’s actually quite easy:

Look pleasant, approach at an angle, make eye contact, and ask,
“Do you want to dance?”

That’s it. Clean and simple.

Oh, did I mention being confident?

Lack of confidence is a killer way to get rejected. You’ll get so many NOs you can write your own blog post. Heh.

No More Dance Rejection tileAlso, if rejection bothers you, remember: You don’t have to dance with anyone. And ‘anyone’ doesn’t have to dance with you, either. It’s a relief to realize we’re not compelled to dance with anyone who asks.

So, what a treat when someone says yes! They are giving you the gift of their time and attention. And hopefully sharing 3 minutes of pure joy with you.

Check out the whole course! Click here to download No More Dance Rejection (An 8-Part Course).

Special thanks to contributor Lee Broxson, who was kind enough to shoot the shit with me one night at the Century when I didn’t feel like dancing.

What are your ‘best’ ways of getting rejected at a dance?

P.S. You should like DWT on Facebook. Then we can chat more!