Have you ever wanted to start a conversation with a fellow dancer, but found yourself tongue-tied?
Here is a list of conversation openers that should get a good response most of the time. I’ve left out some that would immediately expose you as a novice, such as: “Are you from here, or are you just in town for the dance event?” This one, for example, communicates that you have no idea whether you’ve ever seen this person, which means you’re probably new. You NEVER want to ask this of a rock star, for example.
“Where are you from?” could easily mean that you’ve seen the person around, but don’t remember where they are from. See? It leaves the door open to interpretation. That means the other person can’t judge your dance ability by the first thing out of your mouth.
Every single line below ends with a question, most of which are open-ended (this is key!). Most are about dancing. The rest are on subjects I consider safe bets. I’ve test-driven all of them numerous times. Just use your best judgment to decide who to ask what.
Be sure you can think of more to say after your opener! These conversation starters won’t teach you how to be a good conversationalist, but they are good ins.
- Did you have a good time at ILHC? (or other event they went to)
- Are you going to Camp Jitterbug? (or other event nearby)
- I like your hair. Where do you get it done?
- Nice shoes! Where’d you get them?
- I’m thinking of getting a pair of Remix shoes. Do you have a pair? (follows)
- Cute dress. Where’d you get it?
- Have you seen the new Macbook Air? (or other latest gadget)
- Do you have any hobbies besides dancing?
- Is this your first time at this event?
- What do you think of the band?
- Did you go to Frankie 95?
- How was that event? (if they are wearing a dance event t-shirt)
- So where are you from? (when you’re out of town dancing)
- Where do you work?
- What’s the dance scene like in [name of city]? (after asking where they are from)
- Who do you like to watch dance?
- What events are you going to this year?
- What do you think of Obamacare? (or other recently passed legislation)
- Seen any good movies lately?
- Are you watching Mad Men? (or other popular TV show you watch)
- Check that guy out. Doesn’t he remind you of David Tennant’s Dr. Who? (or other famous person)
- So how did you get into [non-dance hobby you heard that they do]?
- I saw your blog post on Dance World Takeover. It was awesome! How do you do it??
Remember, your goal should be to make a quick connection and establish yourself as friendly and fun to talk to. You don’t need to have a 10 minute conversation to do this. Dancers like dancing with their friends. If you’ve exchanged a few words, you’re more likely to dance with that person again than if you’d stayed silent.
Special thanks to my contributor for this post, Elizabeth Tietgen.
Tell us your favorite conversation starters below!
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Next time you see someone who reminds you of David Tennant, let me know. I want to go to there.
I second this. Dr. Who dancer is a must.
Though now that you mention it, there is a guy in my scene who vaguely reminds me of Tenth Doctor.
A lot of good suggestions, Rebecca!!
I’ve been enjoying this blog, and am glad I subscribed!! Keep up the good work!!
Will do, thanks!
I pretty strongly recommend against #18 unless you want to risk getting into a huge argument with someone you don’t know. Also finding out that someone you enjoyed dancing with has horribly incompatible opinions about politics / religion / other hot-button topic can take away all the fun of dancing with them going forward. Brings to mind the time I was chatting with someone at a party full of contra dancers and discovered she was a raving fundamentalist loon when not dancing.
I would say that raving fundamentalist loons make up 75% of the lindy hop community. If you don’t want to dance with them, I suggest you take up some other hobby. : )